I have a friend who is a creative nonfiction writer and professor who says that when she’s writing a new chapter she can’t usually come at it through the front door, but instead she looks for another way in. She recognizes that her creative voice is shy and that approaching it directly doesn’t usually work. In order to access her creativity, my friend tries to find more subtle ways in, as if she’s coming in through the back door, or climbing through an open window. She doesn’t want to scare off creativity before she’s begun.
This gentle approach can be even more important for our emotional selves, especially the deeper parts of us that hold hurt. If we’re alive on this earth, we have gone through trauma. No matter what life was like growing up, there were times when we felt afraid or unsafe. Memories from these experiences stay with us inside of strong emotions we tend to avoid like anger, fear or shame.
As described by the pioneering physician Dr. John Sarno, repressed emotions are usually the reason we struggle with chronic symptoms. Our subconscious brains have determined that difficult emotions are dangerous and that we need to keep them locked away. Emotions get perpetually trapped in our bodies when our brains, set on protecting us, stuff them deep inside.
One way to reduce our symptoms is to release these strong emotions. Similar to my friend’s approach to accessing her creativity, we can think about our emotions like a house within us. Sometimes we’ve already dealt with a traumatic experience through counseling or supportive friends. But talking directly about it can be like going right up to the front door and demanding to be let in. Our subconscious may have allowed us into the living room of this particular wound, but we don’t yet have access to the entire house.
When we have not fully processed our hurt, we are more likely to develop chronic pain. Maybe we live with recurrent migraines or back spasms that always flare when we’re stressed. We can’t imagine what’s causing these symptoms. It could be that we haven’t yet ventured into the upstairs bedroom where deep emotional wounds hide. Or maybe we’ve not been willing to go down into the basement, push through the cobwebs of our memories, in order to reach the whimpering child within.
The truth is, we can access mind-body healing by simply addressing how we handle everyday stress in our lives. But for some of us, including me, we have to take it deeper. By knowing that these old wounds are camped out in our bodies, we can address them with the same kind of gentleness my friend uses when she sits down to write.
Direct force feels unsafe to our tender inner-selves and it triggers our danger signals. So instead, we can knock quietly on the back door of our emotional selves, asking to be let in. This more subtle approach is what I needed in order to continue to heal my physical symptoms. Practicing regular silence and prayer helped me listen for what my body and emotions had to say. Ultimately though, accessing my imagination and intuitive self through writing opened the way into deeper emotional and physical healing.
Showing up regularly to write a few pages about whatever wanted to come out helped me go deeper. It was through Julia Cameron’s simple practice of Morning Pages, taught in her book The Artist’s Way, that I began to access emotions under my conscious awareness. This easy writing practice taught me how to finally stop running away and to deeply listen.
The only rules are to write by hand for three straight pages (or twenty minutes), allowing anything onto the page. Starting early in the day, before checklists and emails dominate our minds, can help us attune to what’s under the surface of our busyness. Editing, correct spelling or grammar isn’t allowed. Neither is writing for anyone else’s eyes.
Through this approach, my spiral notebook became the safest place for my subconscious to show up. On these pages, I learned what life experiences and difficult emotions (like anger and fear) were causing my decades of chronic symptoms. I finally began to glimpse what had felt so threatening to my brain. I didn’t force myself to write about hard topics, but instead I just showed up, listened to my inner-self and refused to censor anything that wanted or needed to be said.
Morning Pages taught me the importance of voicing the unspeakable. To finally listen to and receive the wounded little one within me. It makes sense why these wounded parts of us are so shy. Our subconscious minds are masters of protection, thinking that emotions like anger, fear, shame or grief are the enemies. But if we can begin to use a simple writing exercise to sooth our subconscious minds and unlock the repressed emotions they hold, we can truly help ourselves heal.
Invitations to Write or Reflect:
- What might you hear if you were to slow down and listen to your physical or emotional symptoms?
- What subtle approaches help you unlock difficult experiences or emotions? (silence, meditation, prayer, writing Morning Pages, movement, journaling)
- Is there an image or metaphor that describes what life is like for you inside of chronic symptoms or unhealed wounds?
Instructions for writing Morning Pages:
- First thing in the morning, before opening your phone, checking email or speaking to others, find a quiet place where you can be alone to write.
- Use a pen and notebook to hand write three pages of stream of conscious writing. Write whatever comes to mind for twenty minutes.
- Writing by hand is a physical movement that helps your body release what you are holding onto. You can type morning pages, but it can be more beneficial to write them out by hand.
- Allow whatever comes to your mind out onto the page without censoring or editing.
- If you’re fearful of others finding your writing, find a safe place to hide your journal or rip up what you write and throw it away.
If you’re feeling stuck inside of TMS symptoms, I’d love to have you in my next How We Heal Chronic Pain & Fatigue course (starts next week, May 4th)! It is powerful mind-body deep dive and can really help you launch forward in your healing journey. Check out the course details here at this link.
